"To Jay (Sehorn) With Love"
"To Jay, (Sehorn) With Love"
Yesterday while back in my hometown for the first time in many a year, I spent a delightful afternoon at an outdoor cafe, Guinevere's, enjoying the sun, special food and fresh flowers. And directly in my line of sight and next door loomed the old Woodland Daily Democrat offices where Jay Sehorn had worked and been editor many, many years ago, calling up childhood memories, especially of Jay.
Jay. who had been so much a part of my life those many years ago, still shaped my perception even now. This adopted only child with no known heritage, by three had been graced with this most magnificent of gifts--Love, unconditional love, that amazing magic wand, plus delight in her very being.
With a bow to "To Sir, With Love," I cannot even imagine my life and how different it would have been without Jay and that gift. With that gift, much like a near-death experience, I saw and experienced a very different world.
For far too many years I thought everyone had been given such a gift, and it has taken me many, many years to recognize, really claim, and acknowledge its immensity and uniqueness. Only now am I acknowledging to myself and others what that means in terms of leadership, writing, etc.
Jay affirmed and empowered me in so many ways--putting me into fashion shows, newspaper ads, announcements of my birthdays, and just a genuine sense of delight which also came from me whenever I saw him.
My childhood included living across the street from City Park and its rose gardens and swings and one house away from the Sehorns. Raymond, Jay's son, and I were playmates, so I was at his house a lot and observed some of its Catholic rituals, so different from my own home. I remember, too, another ritual, that of Jay's coming home often included swinging for his sons and sometimes like a special daughter, I was included.
At this point in time, I recognize that Jay and I were probably part of the same soul family; then I just lit up whenever he appeared. My father made some changes and we moved first to North Sacramento, then briefly Sacramento and then back. By the time I was five, Jay was once more a part of my world until the fifth grade..
Then something happened and Jay died of Hodgkin's disease, having suffered from that for about eleven years. During that time he and his wife, Elise, had had two more boys, one of whom died, and he had been dealing with editorial deadlines etc. While I'm not sure what Jay did regarding athletics, I do remember in high school Jay Sehorn Awards were given.
Very few people knew about Jay's disease, so like me, when he died, the rest of the community was in shock. I remember it especially well because not being aware of the seriousness of his hospitalization, I had sent him a "Get Well" card. And so like Jay, he had responded and even apologized for having missed my birthday! I kept his note until recently when it got lost in my move.
Shortly after I received my "thank you" note, Jay died. Then I watched as many of the couples with whom he and Elise had socialized turn to some form of religion. Jay became my very own down the street hero.
Jay was born in Willows, California, not that far away from Mt. Shasta, and shortly after his dying, Jay's family returned there. We had stayed in touch with the Sehorns over the years with cards and once in awhile, visits. Then when I was at Mills College and Raymond was at Santa Clara, he invited me to a party in San Francisco, and then we went our separate ways, especially since I was no longer in the Bay Area and attending UC-Davis.
Many, many years later having written something about Jay and my perception of the importance of that gift my mother shared my writing with Elise. Surprising both of us, Elise had written back that Jay's sons had a very different perception.
In looking back at my time with Jay, I think another reason for my shock about Hodgkin's disease and his dying was because when I thought of Jay, I thought of his aliveness. And yet for the entire time I knew him, he was dying. "T'is a puzzlement!" Interesting about our perceptions of others; however, I also remember years later that in speaking of someone else who had died from Hodgkin's disease often there were comments about that person's aliveness.
And I find that I still want a Jay Sehorn Award-- this time one being given for living one's live with meaning.
Yesterday while back in my hometown for the first time in many a year, I spent a delightful afternoon at an outdoor cafe, Guinevere's, enjoying the sun, special food and fresh flowers. And directly in my line of sight and next door loomed the old Woodland Daily Democrat offices where Jay Sehorn had worked and been editor many, many years ago, calling up childhood memories, especially of Jay.
Jay. who had been so much a part of my life those many years ago, still shaped my perception even now. This adopted only child with no known heritage, by three had been graced with this most magnificent of gifts--Love, unconditional love, that amazing magic wand, plus delight in her very being.
With a bow to "To Sir, With Love," I cannot even imagine my life and how different it would have been without Jay and that gift. With that gift, much like a near-death experience, I saw and experienced a very different world.
For far too many years I thought everyone had been given such a gift, and it has taken me many, many years to recognize, really claim, and acknowledge its immensity and uniqueness. Only now am I acknowledging to myself and others what that means in terms of leadership, writing, etc.
Jay affirmed and empowered me in so many ways--putting me into fashion shows, newspaper ads, announcements of my birthdays, and just a genuine sense of delight which also came from me whenever I saw him.
My childhood included living across the street from City Park and its rose gardens and swings and one house away from the Sehorns. Raymond, Jay's son, and I were playmates, so I was at his house a lot and observed some of its Catholic rituals, so different from my own home. I remember, too, another ritual, that of Jay's coming home often included swinging for his sons and sometimes like a special daughter, I was included.
At this point in time, I recognize that Jay and I were probably part of the same soul family; then I just lit up whenever he appeared. My father made some changes and we moved first to North Sacramento, then briefly Sacramento and then back. By the time I was five, Jay was once more a part of my world until the fifth grade..
Then something happened and Jay died of Hodgkin's disease, having suffered from that for about eleven years. During that time he and his wife, Elise, had had two more boys, one of whom died, and he had been dealing with editorial deadlines etc. While I'm not sure what Jay did regarding athletics, I do remember in high school Jay Sehorn Awards were given.
Very few people knew about Jay's disease, so like me, when he died, the rest of the community was in shock. I remember it especially well because not being aware of the seriousness of his hospitalization, I had sent him a "Get Well" card. And so like Jay, he had responded and even apologized for having missed my birthday! I kept his note until recently when it got lost in my move.
Shortly after I received my "thank you" note, Jay died. Then I watched as many of the couples with whom he and Elise had socialized turn to some form of religion. Jay became my very own down the street hero.
Jay was born in Willows, California, not that far away from Mt. Shasta, and shortly after his dying, Jay's family returned there. We had stayed in touch with the Sehorns over the years with cards and once in awhile, visits. Then when I was at Mills College and Raymond was at Santa Clara, he invited me to a party in San Francisco, and then we went our separate ways, especially since I was no longer in the Bay Area and attending UC-Davis.
Many, many years later having written something about Jay and my perception of the importance of that gift my mother shared my writing with Elise. Surprising both of us, Elise had written back that Jay's sons had a very different perception.
In looking back at my time with Jay, I think another reason for my shock about Hodgkin's disease and his dying was because when I thought of Jay, I thought of his aliveness. And yet for the entire time I knew him, he was dying. "T'is a puzzlement!" Interesting about our perceptions of others; however, I also remember years later that in speaking of someone else who had died from Hodgkin's disease often there were comments about that person's aliveness.
And I find that I still want a Jay Sehorn Award-- this time one being given for living one's live with meaning.
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